Tuesday, October 24, 2023

The Three Old Fools


"I DON'T REALLY FIB," INSISTS SERIAL LIAR GEORGE SANTOS, "I JUST EXTRAPOLATE."


FILE THAT STATEMENT UNDER JUST ANOTHER ONE OF HIS FALSEHOODS.

HIS MOST RECENT LIE?  TELLING "THE NEW YORK TIMES'' JOURNALIST GRACE ASHFORD THAT HIS 5-YEAR-OLD NIECE WAS KIDNAPPED BY THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY WHICH APPARENTLY MAINTAINS AN UNDERGROUND NETWORK THAT STALKS PLAYGROUNDS IN QUEENS AND POSSIBLY OTHER BOROUGHS OF NEW YORK CITY.


WE CORNERED THE RAT OUTSIDE CONGRESS TO ASK IF HE WAS STANDING BY HIS STORY.  BEFORE HE COULD RESPOND, SENATOR LINDSAY GRAHAM PIPED IN TO INSIST, "IT'S TRUE! IT'S TRUE!  AND THEY KIDNAPPED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE TOO. MY GLORIOUS ALBIET MYTHICAL STEWARDESS HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN AGAIN AND SHE WAS A REAL WOMAN WHO INSISTED UPON BEING CALLED A 'STEW' AND NOT A 'FLIGHT ATTENDENT'."  IMMEDIATELY, SENATOR TIM SCOTT WADDLED UP TO INSIST THAT THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY IS WHY NO 1 HAS EVER SEEN HIS GIRLFRIEND -- THAT AND THE FACT THAT SHE HAS NEVER EXISTED. 

"I'M A VIRGIN!" TIM INSISTED.  "WHAT MAN WOULD LIE ABOUT THAT!"

MAYBE A 57-YEAR-OLD CLOSET CASE?


FROM THE TCI WIRE:




RECOMMENDED: ""Some solid criticism of KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON"




 
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