Blog Betty (Thomas Friedman is a Great Man was an online novel)

Through most of 2008 this was a parody site. Sometimes there's humor now, sometimes I'm serious.

Sunday, May 10, 2026

Petey plays dress up and drinking games to avoid the reality that he'll never be Mark Kelly

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIG MIX & THOMAS FRIEDMAN IS A GREAT MAN & ANN'S MEGA DUB & THE WORLD TODAY JUST NUTS & THE COMMON ILLS -- THE KOOL AID TABLE

SECRETARY OF THE STENO POOL PETEY HEGSETH IS RAGING AT SENATOR MARK KELLY AGAIN BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT SENATOR KELLY ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING WITH HIS LIFE. HEGSETH? HE'S WORRIED PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT HOW HIS SKIN IS BREAKING OUT AND HOW HE'S GOT A TRIPLE CHIN NOW DAYS.

DESPITE THE WEIGHT GAIN, PETEY CONTINUES TO WEAR HIS SUITS FAR TOO TIGHT TO SHOW OFF HIS CURVY AND FEMININE FIGURE.

WHEN NOT SASHSHAYING HIS ASS AROUND IN TOO TIGHT PANTS, PETEY GARNERS ATTENTION FOR OTHER REASONS:

Pete Hegseth is an evangelical Christian, so he does not respect other religious faiths or any person who is not a Caucasian. He considers female Caucasians to be inferior to males.

He has purged the Department of Defense of senior admirals and generals who are either female or black.

He is a bigot who disparages all ethnic groups other than Caucasians, opposes their immigration, and wants them to be deported.

He imposes his evangelical Christian beliefs on military personnel: i.e., a captive audience that is not allowed to disagree with anything he says.

This violates the First Amendment to the Constitution in that as a representative of the U.S. government, he imposes religious beliefs and opinions on his subordinates.

REACHED FOR COMMENT BY THESE REPORTERS, PETEY RESPONDED, "F**K YOU! I'M THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND! IT'S SUNDAY NIGHT AND I'M SO DRUNK THAT I CAN'T STAND UP! IF YOU WERE AS HATEFUL AND BIGOTED AS I AM, YOU'D STAY DRUNK AS MUCH AS YOU COULD TOO!"

PETEY PICTURED ABOVE IN ISAIAH'S THE WORLD TODAY JUST NUTS "HAS PETE GOT A DEAL FOR YOU" EXPLAINING:

"I need $1.5 trillion dollars. If you give me that, I can continue to use racism and sexism to discriminate against Americans in uniform. And, good news, its only going to take $125 million of that to change our name from the Dept of Defense to the Dept of War!"

FROM THE TCI WIRE:

Chump. Is he all there? Is he fading? Is the dementia worsening? William Vaillancourt (DAILY BEAST) notes:

Massachusetts Rep. Seth Moulton, appearing on The Daily Beast Podcast, said the 79-year-old president seems to be “more senile” now than he was during his first term.

“I’m no doctor. I’m no psychologist. I’m no child psychologist, which might be more appropriate for the president,“ Moulton told host Joanna Coles. ”But he definitely seems to be getting worse. He really seems to be getting worse. He seems to be getting more senile. I mean, you don’t talk about cognitive tests a lot if you’re not taking cognitive tests, and you only take cognitive tests if your doctors are concerned about your cognitive abilities.”

“Everyone declines, whether we like it or not, at that age... I think it’s just that much more dangerous,” Moulton explained. “Most people can see that Donald Trump is dangerous—that he’s dangerous for our troops, for our country, for our economy, for our national security. I mean, there’s a long list. But he definitely seems more dangerous now than he was even in his first term.”

Catherine Bouris (DAILY BEAST) adds:

California Governor Gavin Newsom has issued a unique challenge to Donald Trump after the president went on a bizarre tangent in public once again.

Speaking at the White House on Wednesday, Trump interrupted his address to explain the difference between “sea” and “see.”

“Drug traffic coming into our country is way down,” he said. “By sea, by ocean, by water. A lot of people say, ‘What do you mean by sea? Is it see, like vision?’ No, it’s sea, S-E-A,” he continued, spelling the word out loud.

Responding to the odd interlude in an X post, Newsom expressed concern that “Little D’s” brain was in decline.

“‘LITTLE D’S’ BRAIN IS DECLINING RAPIDLY IN REAL TIME,” Newsom wrote in Trump’s own all-caps style.

“TODAY HE WAS CONFUSED BY THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ‘SEE’ AND ‘SEA.’ VERY SAD!”

Newsom continued to discuss the president’s health concerns, referencing reports that his aides feel anxious about the growing signs that his health is in decline.

“HIS HANDLERS ARE TERRIFIED AND DESPERATELY TRYING TO HIDE IT FROM THE PUBLIC. THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DESERVE THE TRUTH,” he wrote, before issuing a challenge for the president to agree to a live cognitive test on national television.

“FOX NEWS CAN HOST,” Newsom suggested. “SEAN ‘SLUMPY RATINGS’ HANNITY WOULD BE PERFECT. I’LL EVEN LET HIM GIVE ‘LITTLE D’ THREE LIFELINES!”

Outlining the parameters for the test, Newsom said that it would take place during primetime, and that no teleprompters or notes would be allowed.

“‘PERSON, MAN, CAMERA, TV, SQUIRREL, ELEPHANT, GIRAFFE,’” he added. “LET’S SEE WHO PASSES!!!”

Trump boasted last week that he could correctly identify pictures of animals, including a squirrel, as part of a cognitive test.

It's scary to realize how far gone his brain is and how close he is to the nuclear codes. It's scary to grasp how far gone he is and that he's made the decision to start the war with Iran and made the decision to continue the war. Max Burns (THE HILL) offers:

Does anyone in America know what President Trump is doing in the Strait of Hormuz? Does Trump himself know?

On Sunday, he boldly announced “Project Freedom,” his scheme to escort commercial ships through the shuttered strait. He then swiftly reversed course just two days later, declaring that the strait would remain closed, even as Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was selling Project Freedom to the press. As Hegseth touted a plan that no longer existed, Trump again changed his timeline for ending his increasingly unpopular war in Iran.

Trump’s impulsive and contradictory actions in Iran have confounded his generals, his Cabinet and the public since the war began 10 weeks ago. Trump is now so bogged down that he is confounding himself, too. It is time for Congress to exert some constitutional authority and wrap this debacle up before regular Americans endure even more financial suffering.

He doesn't know what he's doing. That's why he's offered so many differing reasons for the war. It's why he blows hot and cold on it, why he says it's too hard and he needs a break. He's not up to the job because he doesn't have the mind for it. He gets louder and he bellows but that's all that happens. TACO. NACHO. He doesn't have the mind anymore. It's gone.

Senator Mark Kelly continues to be persecuted by Chump and Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth. Kelly, along with other members of Congress, taped a PSA explaining that those enlisted did not have to follow an illegal order. This is a part of training. But it upset Chump and Hegseth (Hegseth had made similar statements when he was on FOX "NEWS" about how troops did not have to obey illeal orders). For a number of reasons, the court system sided with Kelly; however, Hegseth and Chump refuse to let it go.

Mike Scarcella (REUTERS) reports:

A U.S. federal appeals court at a hearing on Thursday appeared skeptical that the Trump administration’s could legally punish Democratic U.S. Senator Mark Kelly over public remarks he made urging service members to refuse unlawful orders.

Members of a three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit expressed criticism of the government’s efforts to censure Kelly, a retired Navy captain and Arizona Democrat, over more than an hour of questioning.

"These are people who serve their country. Many of them put their lives on the line," Circuit Judge Florence Pan told a Justice Department lawyer. "You're saying that they have to give up their retired status in order to say something that is a textbook example — taught at West Point and the Naval Academy — that you can disobey illegal orders?"

Matt Naham (LAW & CRIMES) adds:

On the heels of a ruling in the court below that practically begged Hegseth to stop threatening the First Amendment rights of millions of military retirees to punish his boss' political rival over a video, the D.C. Circuit heard the DOJ's best pitch on Thursday for reviving the disciplinary action.

U.S. Circuit Judges Karen LeCraft Henderson, Florence Pan, and Cornelia Pillard, respectively appointed by Presidents George H.W. Bush, Joe Biden, and Barack Obama, formed the panel, a fact that Law&Crime pointed out after Hegseth finally filed the promised appeal of his loss. Despite technical difficulties with the court's publicly posted audio stream, Pillard and Pan's grilling of a DOJ attorney was enough to glean which way the wind is blowing.

"I mean, this is really basic," Pillard told the government. "You are not disagreeing that the video at issue that is the fulcrum of this case, Senator Kelly never says the words disobey lawful orders, right? I mean, that's uncontroversial. I understand you have a whole theory, but he doesn't say that, right?"

"Not in isolation, expressing —" the DOJ lawyer began to answer, before agreeing the judge was "correct."

In the lead-up to oral arguments, Kelly filed a brief recounting how President Donald Trump accused him and five other Democrats — Rep. Jason Crow, D-Colo., Rep. Maggie Goodlander, D-N.H., Reps. Chris Deluzio and Chrissy Houlahan, D-Pa., and Sen. Elissa Slotkin, D-Mich. — of engaging in "SEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR, punishable by DEATH!" when they appeared in a video in November, condemned lethal military strikes on alleged drug smugglers' boats in international waters, and stated, "you can refuse illegal orders."

[. . .]

All along, Kelly said "you can refuse illegal orders" referred to the Uniform Code of Military Justice, and Pillard picked up on it.

"He says you have a duty to disobey unlawful orders, right? That is something that is taught at Annapolis to every cadet, right?" the judge asked.

The DOJ shot back that the "only reason" Kelly said what he did was because the sitting senator and astronaut had a "specific intent to influence active duty service members" and that "Captain Kelly was not purporting to give a speech in Annapolis on military law."

"How do we know that?" Pillard followed up.

Because Hegseth said so, the DOJ replied.

Because crazy Hegseth with his multiple marriages and screwed up view of Christianity said so?

Hegseth is crazed and insane. A FOX "NEWS" weekend host who found a fool in Chump who would support him. Hegseth's in over his head. He was the one who should have been fired for Signal-gate. Every week since then, he's made one blunder after another. Sometimes he's made them daily.

Going after Mark Kelly was a huge mistake. Kelly doesn't back down. And now that's something the entire nation understands, that Kelly's a fighter. It's raised his political profile and might even land him in the White House. Leo Shane III, Connor O'Brien and Lisa Kashinsky (POLITICO) report:

On the campaign trail, Kelly has amassed a war chest that has fueled talk of a presidential bid. He kicked off the year by hauling in roughly $13 million in the first quarter of 2026.

Kelly has said he’ll “seriously consider” mounting a candidacy in 2028. He was on the short list of running mates for Vice President Kamala Harris’ unsuccessful run against Trump in 2024. She eventually chose Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz.

“He’s got the backstory. He’s a hot commodity right now,” said Pete Giangreco, a longtime Democratic strategist who has worked on multiple presidential campaigns. “He’s done it in a way that has excited the base of the party but is also a talking point that can win a general election because this is about courage and standing up for the Constitution and making sure we have a military that is not politicized.”

Another Democrat in the video, Sen. Elissa Slotkin of Michigan, is also weighing a run for the party’s presidential nomination. Slotkin serves with Kelly on the Senate Armed Services Committee and is a former CIA analyst and Pentagon official.